The beauty of impermanence is nothing lasts forever.
Whatever it is, don’t look at it like it’s forever. Recognize you are here, let it be, and let it go.
This too shall pass.
It’s one of the most common sayings and one we often hear when going through life’s trials and tribulations.
The thing I like most about this simple phrase is it’s applicable to everything, good, bad, and indifferent. This moment, this feeling, this emotion, this pain, joy, relief, sadness, attitude, peace, and everything in between, too, shall pass.
I suppose the beauty of impermanence is that everything is fluid. Maybe this is what Vietnamese monk Thich Nhat Hanh was talking about when he wrote about impermanence in his book, You are here. All we truly have is what’s in front of us in the here and now.
Thich Nhat Hanh also talked about how interconnected everything is. A flower is not only a flower, but the result of rain, clouds, sunshine, seed, soil, nutrients, and so many other elements both tangible and intangible, seen and not seen. Something that is here for a while, and eventually transitioning to another form in another place and time.
I know it’s a break up song, but when it came on the radio, it reminded me of my grandmother. It was the line: “Don’t look at it like it’s forever.” It’s been a year since my grandmother died and I really missed her today.
I went to Merc’s 80th birthday lunch where I saw some of my favorite old ladies. Wela would have been among this company if she were here. She probably would have called Merc young; Wela was 84 and would have been 85 in February. I also thought about how eventually these ladies (and all of us) will be absent from birthdays and lunches we should be sharing with family, friends, and neighbors of 50 years.
Impermanence.
Wela was there, of course. We talked about her and shared a story or two. I know it’s okay that she died, but god, I miss her! My grandmother was one of my best friends, one of my favorite people.
“You think the other person in your life is going to be there forever, but that is not true. That person is impermanent, just like you.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
Sometimes I hear her in the radio when the perfect song comes on with just the right message, the kind of advice she would give.
Don’t look at it like it’s forever.
This too shall pass.
Keep going, don’t lose heart.
In these moments, it doesn’t feel like she’s left this world, but has rather simply taken a different shape, the way a seed becomes a sprout or a caterpillar becomes a butterfly. The beauty of impermanence is that we are as fluid and ever-changing as the river.
“When you look at the nature of things with concentration, you discover that they are all impermanent. Everything is constantly changing. Nothing has a permanent identity. … Impermanence is the very heart of life. It makes life possible. Reject impermanence, and you reject life.” — Thich Nhat Hanh, from his book You are here.
Reading this book, I find a strange comfort in knowing that nothing goes on in the same way forever. And in some ways, forever doesn’t exist because things are always changing. When things end, be it a relationship, a job, a rainstorm, or a life, there is an ease in knowing it wasn’t going to last forever. Nothing lasts forever. Everything is impermanent. The only constant is change, after all.
I know my grandmother lives in me because she is of me and I am of her. We shared a life together, and that doesn’t end just because a new chapter begins. She is the rain and the soil and I am the sprout.
My grandmother was always aware of the impermanence of things. Maybe it was a result of growing up in the shadow of the Great Depression. Or from experiencing death at an early age herself. Or maybe just an innate knowing as she witnessed the world go by, change, evolve, devolve, and come back around again.
Knowing that this too shall pass can be looked at in a broader sense, as well, in terms of putting yourself out there and having the courage to try new things. Or even in terms of sharing your trials and tribulations.
When you look at things not as forever, but as this moment, the grief, the embarrassment, the fear, they all dissipate. Knowing that the ones we love live on in us, and the moments that challenge us make us who we are, helps me to not get lost in my emotions and move through them with a fluidity I didn’t previously have.
Whatever it is, don’t look at it like it’s forever. Recognize you are here, let it be, and let it go.
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