My Body, My Choice: An Essay on Abortion Restrictions
Restricting abortion access does far more to hurt women than it does to help society.
Reproductive rights are back under attack at the state and federal level, which is really just another way of saying that women are under attack. Again. Or still. The line is blurry. On the docket of discussion is whether or not to overturn a right that has been earned and made law for almost 50 years now.
The fact that women — by law — do not have full control of their bodies is an assault on women. That lawmakers give more personhood to a pea-sized fetus with no organs than they do to the person carrying the fetus is an assault on women. There are more people fighting for the rights of fetuses than there were fighting for justice for Breonna Taylor, another assault on a woman. There is something severely out of balance with this country when a fetus has more protections than the pregnant person, a POC, an immigrant, the poor, and Godspeed if you’re any combination thereof.
One has to wonder if politicians and men only value fetuses because they can’t talk back? Or because the fetus could one day grow up to be a man? We wouldn’t continue to have these conversations if the person constantly at risk of losing their rights were a man, and certainly not if he were a white man. He would cry and society would grant him his rights and the conversation would be over; much like they did during Brett Kavanaugh’s confirmation hearing. There are no laws mandating what men should or should not do with their bodies. Not one. And if you haven’t noticed, the main characters making laws restricting access to women’s reproductive health are men. It’s easy for a man to say what a woman should do with her body as he will never have to make that choice.
Put plainly, a woman’s personhood is up for debate. It’s not just our reproductive health on the line, it’s the ability to live a full independent life. What other rights will start to be stripped away? What other choices will we not be able to make regarding our own bodies? How else will we be regulated as second class citizens?
The fight is not about abortion or unborn babies. The fight is about controlling women. This race for control extends beyond women, but also affects anyone with a uterus including non-binary and trans people.
Further, restrictions to safe abortions perpetuate systemic racism. Medically speaking, it is safer to have an abortion than a live birth due to complications that can arise throughout the pregnancy and during the delivery. Black, Native American, and Alaskan Native women are four to five times more likely to die in childbirth than their white counterparts. Forcing someone to carry out a pregnancy who doesn’t want it could be a dangerous affair. It would be remiss to not mention that the cost of having an abortion is significantly cheaper than having a child, which will cost you money for the rest of your life.
What happens when that baby is born to a parent who can’t afford it or a parent who doesn’t want it? Who advocates for the child then? Who protects it? Adoption is a lengthy process that comes with its own set of systemic issues. The foster care system is also in need of some attention and a slue of resources so children in the foster system can thrive, not just survive.
There are enough people out there who willing want children that we do not need to force every person who becomes pregnant to follow through with the pregnancy. It should not be a crime nor should it leave someone in a dire situation for not wanting to have a child. And make no mistake — people will continue to have abortions whether it is legal or not.
“Criminalizing pregnancy outcomes — including abortions — is a waste of public funds and contributes to mass incarceration’s crisis of excessive punishment. Yet the true costs lie not in the state’s budget, but in the lives of everyday people, needlessly caught up in the system. A criminal conviction, with or without time behind bars, can lead to numerous collateral consequences, including lost jobs or professional licenses, compromised housing, lack of access to public benefits, political disenfranchisement and a lifetime of earnings loss.” according to research from Madiba Dennie and Jackie Fielding in an article published by Brennan Center for Justice.
It’s not like having an abortion is an easy choice to make. Or a choice that makes women happy. Women don’t get abortions for the fun of it. They get abortions because they know that now is not a good time for them to have a child. It doesn’t matter the reason, because honestly, there are countless reasons why and not one of those reasons has any bearing on anyone else’s life, least of all men half way across the country.
Roughly 1 in 4 women have an abortion by the end of their reproductive years. More than half of them are preformed on women who already have children who cite reasons for wanting to be a better mother to the child/ren they already have as their reason for getting an abortion. And for more than half the women getting abortions, this is their first one.
I had an abortion in December 2018. I instantly started sobbing when I saw the lines on the stick turn positive. In that moment, it felt like my life was over. The very last thing I wanted was to be pregnant.
My boyfriend at the time and I were in a rough spot. We had actually talked about breaking up the week before, and on occasions before that. We were in couples therapy and hadn’t been good for a while. Additionally, I wasn’t financially stable at the time and I knew that having a child would put a tremendous strain on me, and it definitely would not make things easier for our relationship.
I don’t regret it.
I don’t even feel bad about it.
It wasn’t pleasant, don’t get me wrong; but honestly, I forget it even happened. It will be days or weeks before I remember sometimes. I feel bad because I don’t feel worse about it when society tells me I should. Whatever feeling/s you may have about that are for you and not for me.
I made the best decision for me and my life. And I still feel that way.
We don’t often hear these types of stories.
I can’t underscore how grateful I am that I had access to an abortion clinic and I could have it done safely. I still don’t know if I want kids or not in my future, but I also know that I definitely do not want kids now. And I am beyond thankful I don’t have a small child as I write this. It’s not that I don’t like kids, because I love being an aunt to my niece and nephews and my friend’s kids.
At this juncture in my life, I believe I have more to offer the world just as I am. With my own talents and my own ambitions and my own endeavors. I have more to contribute to society than my uterus and anything it can create. And I believe I can make my boat go faster without caring for a child that I do not want.
Getting an abortion wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t hard, either. I did have to go to the clinic twice within a 48 hour period. I was asked several questions confirming that I wanted this procedure and confirming that I knew what the procedure was. It also felt like a lot of red tape that the clinic had to do in order to be able to provide this service. I wonder if it would be that easy for me now, but based on the news as of late, I doubt it.
I pray that Roe v. Wade stays intact and that women/people with uteruses are granted full autonomy and ownership of their bodies and of their person. This country cannot move forward in any kind of healthy, equitable, sustainable way until we all have the same rights, one of the most fundamental being in control of ourselves. After all, it’s a lot harder to get ahead when someone else is holding you back.
Thank you for taking the time to read and hear my story. To read more about life, overcoming trauma, and healing, hit the follow button and visit our shop at www.sewnapart.com.
